Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Its the middle of night and I'm not sleeping. A common problem I've had most of my life (being up at night) is now only ten times worse because of the dialysis thing. Yet another thing about having no kidney function, and little known at that, is the hormone imbalances and defects. Everything from testosterone loss, to epo being off, kidney failure is alot more than just the toxin and fluid issues, which are massive in and of themselves, and of primary importance to the entire dialysis process, because frankly one can really die, and really quick, if these things are not addressed on a day to day basis. Its funny to reflect on the fact that if I did not go to dialysis for the next few weeks, i would simply die. To see other patients, especially, the older and the very sick due to multiple system failures just decide that they are done with it and say goodbye. Dialysis is artificial life support. Well done and assisting me in the quality of life I enjoy. I'm grateful, regardless of the "complications". I know alot of people with no health issues such as ones I deal with who carry more life crippling "complications" everyday.  Sometimes the overcoming is what makes us all feel alive. I know its my dirty little secret. 

1 comment:

John said...

I hear you Austin--I am John and I wrote the song on this website and I understand alot of what you are saying--I did not have dialysis before my wife gave me akidney but I was literally only days away as I was struggling to breath and fluid and toxins were building up quickly. I have never felt so weak and I pray that you find another hero to help you. I understand willing yourself to make it thru the storm and I will add my prayers to your fight and you will be victorious. God Bless you