Tuesday, January 22, 2013

So far so good

It's been over a month now of doing my four hour dialysis regimen and this winter has been the best I've had in 8 years of treatments. Knock on wood so far this winter I have had no sicknesses to speak of.

For the past two months I've been averaging about 30 miles a week running as I have committed myself to train for the GlassCity marathon in April.

Fancy new shoes, four hours of dialysis a day, and feeling good is a magical combination.

I continue to show up every day to do what is required. I will continue to post my weekly mileage and training highs and lows through April.

Sometimes I become greatly ambivalent about my personal situation and just wish that I had more money to buy a nice car. I just watched a documentary about the artist Wayne White where he discussed how difficult it is for an artist to expose himself to the world. To say hey look at me about the most intimate details of your creative life can make one shameful and fill them with self doubt. My intimate life is my creative life to stay alive. I see people dying because they lack the belief that they can survive and thrive in their suffering. It's okay to live like you're already dead.

Don't let doubt insecurity and a lack of knowledge be filled with fear and the inability to believe that you can continue on. Fear will cripple you and fill your life with blackness and sorrow.