Wednesday, October 5, 2011

I guess I have failed the blogger code, or law, or rules.. It has been several months since my last entry. I am sorry for anyone who may of wondered what had happened to me. Since July it has been a whirlwind of activities for me and the family. Lots and lots and lots more of activities for my wife and kids. Driving to practices, work, school, and friends. For me a renewed effort to hold the house and kids together while my wife finishes school. She continues to do more than exceptional, and the kids continue to take on more activities than we can drive or pay for in any given week. But we manage and I m proud of their efforts, and the no quit they have all shown going forward. I myself, have continued overall very good, if not great physical health, with a new mental tranquility that comes with the simple revelation of "acceptance". Seven years this month I started dialysis, and have been waiting for a transplant the same. I really can't say I have or do miss anything but maybe the freedom that comes from the being tied to the dialysis machine. I run around 30 miles a week (six to seven days running a week). Cross train several days, do housework, assist my wife, see family and friends, follow my Tigers into the playoffs, and look forward to trips next year to LA and maybe Hawaii! I try to keep it simple and realize it is hard, and thats ok too.

I received a comment on feeling alone in the struggle with feeling ones life slipping away while waiting for the transplant. I feel that can be just as real a feeling as sitting waiting for anything that you fixate on as the "necessary"next thing that does not come as one may desire. It will pass and you will desire something else, and you will still be just that much closer to the end. Or something like an end. The hard part may be the suffering, but don't worry too much, I have found that that is temporary too. Let me know how you are all doing. Thank you for carrying on, and connecting. I will make better efforts to connect at least once a week.