Since thursday post I've found myself very busy with the quad of duties, family work, exercise, and dialysis. I've been a little burnt out but as soon as the kids go back to school next week things should be easier. Did an incredible 22 mile ride with my wife, on a trail I had never rode. We had fun, even though it took something out of both of us. That day was the only day in the last seven I haven't run. The other days have been good, feel strong and relatively fast for me. Picking up more of the duties at the Groundlevel and I'm having fun. Must get back to work.

Part of the whole deal with the dialysis thing is the "unseen" expenses, and the absolute necessity to be on the Medicare roles. With expenses in the 40K range per month, without any additional hospitalizations or doctor visits, it is imperative to have medicare as your primary insurance source. With a catch in the original medicare law from the late sixties and early seventies dialysis, kidney transplants, and any end stage renal failure diagnosis, are covered by the system up to 80% of cost. The rest, if one does not have private coverage which will pick up the remainder,

 ( which incidentally most do not, or will not over a longer period of time do to the massive cost), must force one into the state medicaid roles, or also known as welfare. Last week I had to go for my semiannual interview to renew my benefits. I really hate having to get it but with excess billings in the 10's of thousands per month I have no, I mean no choice. The real unfortunate result of all this for me personally is that while I can work, and within part time parameters could be employed at a regular rate as an attorney (which i am licensed in Texas and Ohio to practice) I am limited in the amount of money i can receive and still get insurance. We will see if the new medical laws have any affect on this, as in me not being denied private coverage through work for my pre-existing situation, and it not affecting other's premiums as well. For now I live, in theory, below the poverty line. I am not deaf to being on the front line of the medical/insurance debate and conundrum for our country, but feel strongly, regardless of my personal desire to be alive, that medical care, within some specific exceptions, is not a "market driven privilege" like any other economic good or service. On both sides common sense must prevail, costs must come down, and access must come up. Most importantly, as a society medical care should not be thought of in terms of only when one is "sick". Medical care should encompass healthy living from conception through end of life issues which address compassion and cost. 

I'm sorry that its taken so long to get another post. I've been doing quite a bit.  Went out of town over the weekend for my anniversary. Beach time and fantastic food, as well as two great runs and some good company. Its always good to change your perspective even for just a little time. You are refreshed. My wife and i have convinced ourselves that next summer we are going to ride from our home in Sylvania, Ohio, to our cottage on Lake Michigan, Holland Michigan to be accurate. Stay up to date as we prepare and plan for this big trip. Knock on something because I'm still having good health as of now and I have been running and cycling almost every day. It is shallow of me, especially knowing and experiencing all the ups and downs I have had over m lifetime (health or otherwise), but its hard not to feel extra good mentally when your physical dimension is in proper alignment. To hang onto it would be a problem and I need to realize even with the good that "this to shall pass".

Wednesday August 11, 2010. A lot has been going on in my life the past several days, and a lot more is yet upcoming. Since Saturday I've had some great runs, bikes, and some easy dialysis. A couple of long rides 15 and 20 miles, with two fives and a six miler runs. My body can still handle it so I keep doing it, and its fun. Had some sad days with the passing of my mother's dog. He was diagnosed with bone cancer on Friday and went downhill very quickly. We are all sad and surprised at the loss. It shows the fragile nature of this life we all experience and the must to embrace it. On that note tomorrow is my fifth wedding anniversary and a weekend away to the beach for time alone and fun.

Saturday night and I'm doing the Ground Level, its been a good week. toady six miles at Wildwood Park (very challenging due to the sand trails, steep hills, and hot sun),then we came home and did eight miles on the bikes, followed by the best idea ever by my wife; Massages! Anyways a good part of the overall health is to learn how to have your body taken care of during "down" time, that includes the down time from dialysis when the body is probably the most stressed. Sleep, stretching, proper eating, and drinking, supplements, and mind/body efforts all add to an overall better "life" for me. I found early on, within the first few months of my final stages of kidney failure and imminent start on dialysis that the belief part of the equation was the most important. In other words what I felt and believed was possible for myself was exactly the way it would be, and to feel that running marathons and having a full vibrant life was to be, it would be. Work and effort naturally followed, but it was a joy to do, because that is what was to be. Not always a joy, and not without its detours, stresses, and adjustments, overall the life I continue to have as a dialysis patient is a good and rich one for me, regardless of what may be evaluated or measured by any other standard.

In a break from the retelling of my medical, and life history, today I had an early treatment at 6:30, after a physical weekend. Especially Sunday when I ran at Ottawa park (hilly and hot) about five + miles, then an additional mile at the Y, with some weight lifting and then some swimming. Finally in the evening my wife and I went for a ten mile bike ride. It was all so fun, but i have to admit it was  a lot. Not from the activity, rather the buildup of toxins, caused me to feel like I needed dialysis, just felt run down and off. I felt great afterward, except for being tired, because of dialysis and oh, I forgot, not sleeping last night because of my sick pup. Phoebe. We are all better now. Its almost 4:00 in the afternoon, and my second day has begun.